Here I am 2 weeks back from my trip to Ecuador and I am just starting to feel like I am integrating back into city life. I had been feeling out of sort like after I come back from a trip to Europe; jet lag kind of feeling like there was a part of me that was out of sync. Except that I could not blame it on jet lag because there was only 1-hour difference with Toronto. My theory is that it had to do with the transformations I experienced in the jungle that I needed to integrate.

I had signed up for the trip this last January because it felt like I was supposed to go.  A few weeks before leaving I was really looking forward to it; that’s unusual for me I think because I travel so much, I often don’t really feel much anticipation. So I was thinking that it would be an amazing trip…and guess what?

Within my first hour into Bogota I manage to get my almost brand new apple computer stolen;  with all the running around trying to do something about it, I slept about 3 hours that night before having to catch another plane to Quito and had to wake up at 5am.

That night in Quito the pachamama group went out for dinner… everybody got served their meal… except me! Hum, Ok I am trying to remain zen about the whole thing since I KNOW there must be something good that will come out of this, except it was definitely evading my wisdom at the time. Then that same night after I finally fell asleep late because I was too tired to fall asleep, I feel the floor shake beside my bed and feel a presence in the room. My subconscious mind perceives that someone is trying to ‘sneak’ into my bedroom and I bolt up to see a man and a woman quietly walking around my bed: I scream! Apparently people on the first floor of the 3-floor hotel heard me!

All of these things together participated in creating a sense of dread in me, like something must be ‘really wrong’ for this to happen as it was supposed to be this ‘amazing’ trip that was going to give me more wisdom. Instead I was having to constantly push aside the feeling that something was wrong. This was destabilizing me because I just could not find the perfection or gratitude for the situation. I knew there was perfection but that my wisdom was not enough to see it… which made me judge myself even more…  Pushing feelings aside is not something I enjoy doing because I like to face what’s there to grow from it and I just could not find the perfection/gratitude and that was making me doubt myself even more.

The only thing I could do was wait for what I knew for sure was going to unfold.

And did it ever! From doing the work that I have been doing since 1989, I know that there is always equal and opposite support that comes with challenge. I just could not see it before we got into the middle of Amazon Forest.

We spent four amazing days where very few human beings ever venture. We explored the pristine forests and went up the rivers in motorized wooden canoes. We spent time with the Achuar people who have been living in harmony with nature for thousands of years and got to experience their ways. But the highlight of the time there was certainly the shamanic ceremonies in the ‘middle of everywhere’. 

I ended up having one of the most profound transformations of the group and I know that it was because I felt more ‘raw’ and open. It was such an intense and beautiful experience that I carry still in me.

I am sharing this story because so often we don’t understand right away how we are benefitting from challenging circumstances. Every time we are ungrateful we automatically decrease our sense of self worth, and every time we are grateful we automatically increase it. When we feel worthy, we have more inner peace, more joy and a sense of fulfillment. It costs us dearly each time we are upset with our life. Helping my clients see the perfection and feel grateful for who they are, the people and events of their life is the focus of my coaching work. And I just had to get another dose of it to come back with more certainty to be of more service to my clients.

Remember...Let Life In

Dr Lise